What a Great Deal!
In a classic Simpsons episode, Homer discovers he has a crayon stuck in his brain and it’s what’s causing his stupidity. He basically becomes a genius when it gets removed. Later, he asks Moe to re-insert the crayon.
As Moe does so, Homer starts to get dumber:
H: “DE-FENCE! WOO WOO!”
M: “Hm. That’s pretty dumb. Just a bit more.”
H: “Ooooh, extended warranty! What a great deal!”
M: “Ok, that’s dumb enough.”
…
Last weekend, I went to get a monthly cell phone plan. I’m sure you can see where this is going. I already have a phone but no SIM card. Conversely, Kat, who’s arriving tomorrow and is in fact, probably at the check-in line right now, does not have a phone and also needs a SIM. I decided I’d get a contract and a free phone which I could give to Kat and then get a pay-as-you-go SIM card.
After much research, I decided on a great deal one of the stores had where they give a Nokia 6100 (the phone I already have and the lightest fully functional tri-band I know of) for free AND 50 pounds cash back for students!
The sales person I had was quite reasonable and efficient. He processed most of my order really quickly and then asked, “do you want phone insurance?” I answered flatly, “No.” Presumably, he detected my tone because he just said, “ok,” and got up. He got one of his managers to speak to me. I don’t blame him, there was clearly huge pressure for them to sell these things.
The manager, who looks like a sleazy version of Tony Robbins looked over my plan and the phone I was getting then LITERALLY proceeded to talk DOWN to me. i.e., I was sitting comfortably and he stood over me. Not a good way to start.
“You don’t want to get insurance?”
“Nope.”
“We’re giving you 50 in cash back-”
“yeh, I appreciate that”
“- and this insurance is 23 blah blah blah”
“Look, I’m not going to buy it so you might as well stop now.”
“OK, I just want to understand your reasons.”
(understand? the way he was talking to me at this point, he was demanding)
“Because it’s a (fucking) rip-off. Life insurance is cheaper than that.”
“Your phone is a 350 pound phone.”
“Yes, it’s a nice phone.”
“If you lose it, you what will you do?”
“Replace it”
“You’ll pay 350 pounds to replace your phone? It will cost you 350 you know. But if you get-”
“No, I’ll get a different one. I dunno. I don’t care.”
“You’ll get a basic phone.”
“Yeh sure (asshole)” I shrug, “it doesn’t matter. I won’t lose my phone ok?”
“Never. 100%.”
“Sure.”
“How long have you been in London?”
He wants to tell me that London is dangerous or some shit because he hears an accent.
“One year.”
This shuts him up. He gives up.
What. A. Fucking. Dip. Shit.
…
On a side note, I saw two people come in to pick up their (I think) pre-ordered N-Gage Nokia game phone. I did play around with the one they had in the store. I think the gamers panning it are exaggerating but it does indeed suck. The 3-D engine is pretty sweet for a phone but it’s way too small for a gameboy competitor and the buttons feel cheap. Worst still, the screen is vertically oriented so it’s not suitable for most games.
Anywho, I just want to say, those two fit the stereotypical gamer to the tee. One had a pony tail and looked like he could use a lesson in hygiene. The other was somewhat overweight and well, showed way too much of his back when he was sitting down. (shudder)
kee kee…
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