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I told her it was me not her. In reality, the sex was horrible…

Posted by JW on 28 November 2003 @ 6pm

dude! she had a dick! but then I’d already paid for the hotel…

Posted by F on 28 November 2003 @ 6pm

Nah, but for a nickle, she’ll take out her fake teeth

Posted by F on 28 November 2003 @ 7pm

“We could just all play with each other.”
(We had to mix up the ultimate frisbee teams; someone cracked up when I said this.)

Posted by NK on 29 November 2003 @ 12am

i thought it would be ok to lick.

Posted by thao on 29 November 2003 @ 6am

Underwear? hahahahahahahaha!

Posted by F on 29 November 2003 @ 8pm

Kev, that time we spent together… was magical. I still remember it more fondly than you might recall. I’m sorry I was so drunk and tired, I wish it could have lasted… forever

Posted by F on 29 November 2003 @ 8pm

Sh!t, if Kevin ever found out, I’d be toast.

Posted by Anonymous on 30 November 2003 @ 6pm

“But only YOU know about me and goat, so please please PLEASE keep it a secret, okay?”
“That fvcken [yournamehere]. Okay, that’s it, I think I’m going to do it tonight.”
“So … do you wanna? I already have the lotions.”
“You know, it was strangely satisfying. Dammit, should I turn myself in?”
“Fine fine. ‘I promise not to tell anyone about your first gay experience with [the-most-macho-guy-you-know-here].’ Mum’s the word.”
“I know, but seriously, pee isn’t supposed to be green!”

Posted by Anonymous on 30 November 2003 @ 6pm

Okay, one more and then I should go be productive.

“It’s no biggie. I’ll just get it checked by the doctor tomorrow. You might want to too.”

Posted by Ben on 30 November 2003 @ 6pm

Why apologize when you’re so fucking unforgiving!!

Posted by F on 1 December 2003 @ 5pm

“I love Michael Bolton. I really do. All his songs. And I love more than just his music. His hair. It’s so sexy.”

“This is my first time having IM sex”

Posted by KC on 1 December 2003 @ 8pm

“A broomstick? Doesn’t it give you splinters??”

“Yeah, I hate it when it sticks to my ass like that too.”

“Use Vaseline. Works wonders, I tell ya.”

Posted by Anonymous on 2 December 2003 @ 6pm

Why do you like this country if they won’t let you get nasty with some oiled up boy sluts?

Posted by F on 4 December 2003 @ 3pm

Aww, cmon. Seriously speaking, any mom that would sleep with her daughter’s boyfriend isn’t going NARC him out, right? It was the best risk-free sex I ever had…

Posted by JW on 15 December 2003 @ 5am

“And the best part was, the gerbil was still okay!”
“It took me a week to clean that out; when it crusts up, it’s a bitch to remove.”
“When I woke up, I saw the Adam’s apple; it was too late, so I just enjoyed the rest of it.”
“Just one goat, and my nickname was sealed.”

Posted by Ben on 15 December 2003 @ 5pm

“Seriously, if there’s going to be a reduction, [unintended recipient's name here] hasn’t done shit but update his blog and dick around with fantasy sports this entire half.”

Posted by uurf on 16 December 2003 @ 6am

It was wrong of me to drive through three states wearing your head as a hat. I’m sorry.

Posted by F on 18 December 2003 @ 2pm

“You’re a guy? Damn! I just thought you liked it a bit … er … kinky…”

This one I actually heard on Springer one nighte.

Posted by Jesse on 3 January 2004 @ 5pm