Headings Towards a Vague Mountain
To use VR as a platform to build empathy and emotional connection
“I’m going to try to figure out this Mountain to head towards. It doesn’t have to be clear and distinct. It can be sort of misty and vaguely over there and then I’ll know if I’m heading closer or farther away.”
“So, a Vague Mountain.”
I was catching up with my friend and co-founder Arshad, filling him in on what was next for me. And from that conversation, the term “Vague Mountain” was born. It has a nice ring to it. Catchy. Visual. Visceral.
It’s been almost a year since leaving Yahoo, who had acquired my startup Incredible Labs. Much of this time was spent traveling, working on personal projects, and generally getting some space and perspective.
Upon returning, I felt reinvigorated and ready to get back into the thick of things. I was feeling antsy to apply my experience and skills to something worthwhile.
But what exactly is “worthwhile”? Is it to start another company? Is it a VP Product or Design position at a startup? Tackle climate change? Social justice? Education?
As I attempted to answer questions from friends and recruiters alike on, “what’s next?” and, “what are you looking for?” I could only give answers of exclusion.
I knew I only wanted to start a company if I felt I had something I wanted to see built that would not get done otherwise and I knew I didn’t want to work on a product that simply satisfied “something your mother used to do for you”. But I couldn’t seem to get past that to any more specificity.
I was stuck.
One day, I came across Neil Gaiman’s (writer of acclaimed graphic novel series Sandman) 2012 commencement speech at the University of Arts. I’ll skip you to the part that spoke most to me but I encourage you to watch the whole thing at some point. It’s full of gems for artists and non-artists alike.
“Something that worked for me was imagining that where I wanted to be[…]imagining that was a Mountain…a distant Mountain. My goal.
And I knew that as long as I kept walking towards the Mountain, I’d be all right. And when I truly was not sure what to do I could stop and think about whether it was taking me towards or away from the Mountain.” — Neil Gaiman
When you have a Mountain, you can make decisions based on whether it brings you closer to the Mountain. Some might call it a Mission Statement — I prefer the visual of the Mountain.
Perhaps it’s because I’m older and further along in my career. Perhaps it’s because I have more options and have analysis paralysis. But I realized that I had put immense pressure on the next step being exactly right. As I get older, time feels more precious and each step is taken with more (and too much) caution.
What if, instead of focusing on what was next, I tried to figure out what my Mountain was? By taking the pressure off the next foot forward, I could step back and determine what I wanted to do — to figure out what my Mountain was.
This differs from a 5-year goal or 5-year plan. For me, it doesn’t even need to be a very distinct mountain — just a rough shape in the distance. A 5-year plan is a specific path with a specific end point. I wanted a direction and was comfortable knowing there are many paths that could lead there. Hence, it’s my Vague Mountain.
Once I had changed my goal from determining what’s next to finding my Vague Mountain, things crystallized quickly. Within a week, I came to the realization that this is what I want to spend my time heading towards:
To use virtual reality as a platform to build empathy and emotional connection.
Why virtual reality? Why empathy? Why is this what I want to focus on? Here’s why…
The world needs more empathy and connection
People and issues have become increasingly polarized—leaving very little room for grey. We see this played out most clearly with the current US elections and with Brexit but, even in small issues, there seems to be little room for middle ground. People seem to have less patience and desire to understand and empathize with the views of those less fortunate or their “opposition”.
“Our attention is focused on classifying, analyzing, and determining levels of wrongness rather than on what we and others need and are not getting.” — Non-Violent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Empathy is a choice but we need connection to have the desire to empathize. Or perhaps we need empathy to desire connection. Regardless of which is the chicken and which is the egg, we largely are now a society of isolated individuals “connected” digitally.
But we’re not more connected. We’re lonelier than ever.
“Another survey by the Mental Health Foundation found that in the UK one in ten of us feels lonely often and 48 per cent of people think we are getting lonelier in general.” —The Loneliness Epidemic, Independent
Numerous studies have shown that loneliness is a major health risk. We need to develop better ways for people to connect and we need to help people empathize with those whose circumstances differ from their own.
We have not evolved our emotional skills
From technology to physical health and medicine, we’ve advanced and evolved in many ways. We can send robots to Mars and automatically land shuttles on tiny barges. We can drive cars without human drivers. We can fix almost any physical ailment and even replace lost limbs.
Yet for all this advancement, we are still victims of slow evolution. Fear is triggered constantly because stories, pictures, and videos of danger are spread with greater reach. We are in a denser, but overall safer, world but we have not evolved our emotional skills and triggers to overcome our reptilian responses.
“Horror inflicted on other people surrounds us constantly. And Adophs argues that because of our wiring, we are not setup to ignore it. And so it distorts our experience of the world, activating our fear when we don’t need it.” — Alix Spiegel, “Fearless” Invisibilia Season 1, Episode 2
Most of us are not taught how to communicate our feelings and needs or worse, are taught that speaking about feelings are weak. We do not know how to practice emotional first aid.
Emotional connection, communication, and empathy are my passion
I spend a great deal of my time building and fostering communities. In 2013, I started a Burning Man camp called Friendlandia. The camp’s goal is to help people recognize and celebrate friendships.
Unlike romantic relationships, which have many traditions and ceremonies like engagement, marriage, and anniversaries, friendships are rarely recognized and celebrated.
So we created a Friendship Ceremony which you can perform with a friend to share what they mean to you.
A couple of years ago, I noticed upon my friend’s death that his Facebook page was filled with words about what he meant to them but, in the same feed, another friend’s birthday only warranted pithy notes—sometimes consisting of only 3 letters: “HBD.” I subsequently spent a year sending only birthday notes where I expressed what I appreciated about the subject.
I care deeply about many issues but passion has a way of just coming through no matter what and makes you act. In this realm, I’ve consistently acted.
Virtual reality (VR) is actual experience and presence
I’m typically quite allergic to hype cycles. With VR, the hype has been much greater than almost anything I can recall in my 17 years in industry. There’s a lot of money thrown in on one end and a lot of enthusiasts willing to work in the space for free on the other. This combination often does not end well.
But my clarifying moment was when I was able to watch friends outside of the bubble experience it for the first time. Without exception, I witnessed amazement, astonishment, and wonder.
I observed people getting lost in Tilt Brush art, feeling wonder or anxiety in an underwater experience, and squealing with joy as they walked in a dust cloud on the playa in Black Rock City.
Unlike watching a movie or playing a video game, VR is actually experiencing something you may not otherwise experience. It’s been shown to have longer lasting effects (both positive and negative) in myriad ways.
We already are seeing VR used to take school field trips to far off lands, help people regain mobility from spinal injuries, help elderly people combat depression, combat common fears such as public speaking, replace painkillers for pain management, therapeutically calm people through meditation and breathing practice, help students with Autism learn, and many more applications.
Even Planned Parenthood has been experimenting with VR, creating a movie experience where you walk into the entrance of a clinic while being verbally abused and spat on by protestors en route. These are the type of experiences that create empathy and understanding. From the Newsweek article about the project:
“Regardless of what is and isn’t available at Planned Parenthood, this is just not how to act toward people, McDonald-Mosley says, and her organization made the film — and chose to make it in virtual reality — to help people see what it’s like to be treated that way.”
Newsweek then goes on to explore the potential implications of this new medium.
“This suggests that in the right context, immersive VR can positively affect a person’s theory of mind — the cognitive ability to take on different perspectives and assess other people’s emotions, beliefs, hopes and intentions.”
Even without VR, games such as That Dragon, Cancer are illustrating what’s possible when seeing through the perspective of others.
In addition to the possibility of virtually being in someone else’s shoes, VR also offers the opportunity for connection — particularly for those that may find it challenging to do so.
For example, researchers are experimenting with helping adults with autism spectrum disorder practice social skills in simulations. So far, the results have been promising.
Social bonds have been created digitally as through BBSs and IRC chats, World of Warcraft guilds, and many other unexpected ways. Video chats have brought us closer to being able to connect with people far away.
Virtual reality offers a deeper opportunity for social connection.
VR is being invested in and will proliferate
While many researchers and developers are interested in experimenting with this new platform, it wouldn’t be meaningful for my goals if I didn’t believe they would become widely available and accessible.
The level of investment major companies such as Facebook, Sony, and Valve have made is certainly a positive indicator. However, the strongest indicator that VR can become commonplace is Google’s investment in affordable solutions like Cardboard and their Daydream platform.
I’ve been interested in VR for a very long time
Soon after I started earnestly diving into and experimenting with VR, I realized that I’d actually been dabbling on and off in VR — and its cousin Augmented Reality (AR) — over many years.
As far back as the 1997, I took a course on CAD. For my final project, instead of just creating a 3D model of my choosing, I decided to dabble in this newfound thing called VRML and created a virtual replica of my school’s engineering lab so we could virtually rearrange furniture, experiment with new configurations, and walkthrough the lab before committing to a new layout and disrupting students.
In 2009, just as smartphones started getting gyroscopes and could determine direction, I became fascinated with the idea that one could overlay information over the camera viewport on their phone.
So fascinated, in fact, that I shipped a game where you can hunt ghosts. I subsequently gave a presentation at Interactions 10 conference on the state of the technology and industry.
It seems that subconsciously, I’ve always had an interest in this realm.
When I share my Vague Mountain with people, many ask questions such as, “how are you going to do that?” or, “so what does that look like?”
The answer is, “I don’t know.” Having the Mountain as a destination means that I don’t need to solve that immediately. Knowing where I want to go, I can now know which projects and which jobs move me closer to the Mountain.
I’ve had the good fortune of what many would consider a solid career. From an electrical engineering background, I’ve had the opportunity to design, code, and do user research for Fortune 500 companies like Sun Microsystem and British Airways.
I’ve designed for Yahoo Maps and designed the now-defunct-but-still-loved Pipes, ran product and design at a gaming social network, ran multiple product teams at Twitter (including its first redesign), and created (and sold) a mobile personal assistant company.
Many struggle with pigeonholing me for this reason — I don’t fall neatly in a category over decades of work.
There is, however, one constant. Whether it’s creating a product, a book, or even throwing a party, I have always focused on creating a narrative and memorable experience.
I’m a storyteller.
How I tell the story is dependent on what tools I need and thankfully, I have many at my disposal. I’m finding this breadth to be perfect for the stage that VR is in—one that requires a great deal of prototyping and experimentation.
As I search for the right opportunities and collaborators, I’m continuing to build my skills in Unity (you can check out my nascent Virtual Reality Burning Man), to learn about communication, connection, and empathy, and to experiment with different experiences and interactions.
I’m interested in finding a home to collaborate on creating unique experiences — whether they are labeled games, social, or otherwise.
If you know of a home that might be a good first step towards this Vague Mountain of mine, share this article with people, or get in touch.
